


Duckwatch

by AM (Amasa)



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-22 20:48:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7453480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amasa/pseuds/AM
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a response to Overwatch's serious PR problem, all members of Overwatch are hereby required to protect and guard... their own baby duck.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Duckwatch

“From this day forward, every member of Overwatch must safeguard a baby duck on their person at all times.”

 

Winston adjusted his glasses with one finger, watching the members of Overwatch turn baffled looks upon their individual comm screens. The resulting quilt of skepticism formed on Winston’s massive comms display made Winston stifle an unprofessional chuckle. He took a discreet screenshot of the whole pastiche, for posterity. 

 

“Winston, love,” Tracer began, her tone warm and polite, but her thin brows knit together. “Won't that be awfully dangerous for the wee things?”

 

“Right. An excellent question,” Winston said, clearing his throat. “As we are all trained, elite operatives, protecting a duckling will be a simple task in and of itself. The important thing is that we be seen with them. It humanizes us. Er, that is….” 

 

He glanced down at his own huge, obviously non-human hands, then up at the corner of his communications display, where Genji and Zenyatta shared a comm screen. Bastion was quiet in the center of the display, his head cocked attentively within the square of his screen. “An unfortunate turn of phrase. Er….”

 

“Please, don't trouble yourself,” said Zenyatta. His voice was serene as ever, and Winston let out a breath, relaxing his clenched fingers. “I take no offense, and I am certain friend Bastion and my student feel the same.” Genji gave a short nod, and Bastion gave a brief burble of assent. “I understand this is to lessen the people's fear of Overwatch, so that they see we revere and protect life, not destroy it?”

 

“Yes! Yes,” Winston said eagerly. “Precisely. I know, it's a bit of a PR gimmick—”

 

“—A bit?” Hanzo muttered. Winston pretended the comm hadn't picked it up. 

 

“—But a necessary one. When the people think _Talon’s_ got the right idea,  well, we need to do everything we can to win back their trust and support. And who doesn't like baby ducklings, right?” He flashed a (hopefully) reassuring grin at the comms display.

 

Mei smiled back. “Ducklings grow up to be ducks, Winston. What will we do then?”

 

_ “ _ That will depend on the public’s reaction,” said Winston. “By that point we may be able to retire the ducks to a, er, duck home, maybe get them on a live stream to keep public interest up. But until then, they will be yours to raise up and care for.”

 

Bastion exploded in a series of breathless beeps and boops. Zenyatta translated with a smile in his voice. “Friend Bastion asks if we shall be raising our little friends from eggs, and when we can expect their arrival.”

 

“Yes, the ducks will arrive as eggs in order to facilitate the imprinting process,” said Winston, to a whistle of delight from Bastion. “They will arrive at your locations within the next week.”

 

“Haven't we got enough on our shoulders?” Winston winced as Soldier 76 spoke up. He'd dreaded Jack’s reaction to this admittedly out-there directive. The opinion of Overwatch’s former leader still mattered greatly, fallen hero or not. There was nothing fallen to him in Winston’s eyes, anyway. “This is ridiculous. We've lost the public’s trust because we failed them. A bunch of ducklings in the line of fire won't fix that.”

 

“I disagree. Cuteness always works,” D.Va asserted. Winston looked at Hana gratefully; she winked. “Think of the photo ops!”

 

“That interest angle will be hard to beat. Human, omnics, everyone can relate to wanting to protect something,” Lúcio piped up. “I think it's great.”

 

“And first time baby duck gets head blown off on battlefield. That will help?” Zarya’s eyebrow twitched. 

 

Reinhardt started to laugh, throwing his gray head back. “Oh, I welcome this little challenge. To protect tiny duck,  this is nothing! Look how much we protect already. Surely we have room in our hearts for a little bird?”

 

“I am  _ not  _ a veterinarian,” Mercy said, crossing her arms. “I would like to make that clear  _ now _ .” 

 

“Please,” said Winston, his voice cracking. “I understand everyone's concerns, but the public needs to see us as people again. They need to see that we can and will protect the small,  the innocent, the—”

 

“Ducks,” Pharah sighed. “The ducks. If that’s what it takes, then I’m prepared to do this.” 

 

“This is a fool’s errand,” Jack growled. His communication screen winked out. 

 

“People eat ducks,” Zarya said with a shrug of her massive shoulders. “I am not confident this duck scheme will work.”

 

“Please try,” Winston pleaded.  ”I’m fully aware it's an unusual effort, but we live in strange times. We need to make a bold move that gets people talking about Overwatch in a positive way again. It’s a shot in the dark, but — isn’t that our specialty?”

 

Torbjörn had worn a thoughtful look throughout the comm call, but didn't speak until now. “Are ye sure the public won't just be furious we put these ducklings into danger in the first place?”

 

“I'm not sure. I don’t know at all. This is a gamble, and its success will depend on all of you.” Winston swallowed, wishing more than ever that big announcements didn't make him so nervous. He was a logical creature, damn it. “But we already knew that.”

 

“We make a great team,” Lúcio said brightly. “Our ducks are gonna be just fine.”

 

Winston smiled. “Thank you, Lúcio.”

 

“We’ll PR blitz it up. My fans will go crazy for this,” D.Va predicted with confidence. 

 

“I don't know how to take care of a  _ duck _ ,” Genji said, turning his head more towards Zenyatta than the comm screen. “I just learned how to take care of  _ myself.” _

 

“We shall all be learning together, my student,” Zenyatta replied. “Perhaps we will find ourselves giving each other tips on how to take care of our new friends.”

 

Another rapidfire series of chirrups and beeps made Bastion’s joy clear without the need for translation. Zarya rolled her eyes expressively.

 

“A detailed informational pamphlet will be sent with everything you need to know about raising a duckling,” Winston promised. “Just give this a try.”

 

“Wouldn't mind raising up a nice fat hen next,” McCree said with a low laugh. 

 

Winston chuckled nervously. “Let's not eat these, please. I'm afraid that would very much backfire on the intended purpose of this project.”

 

“If you say so, pardner.” McCree tilted his hat and winked out, followed by Zarya and Hanzo. Eventually, all the screens winked out. Winston was left in silence, the Overwatch logo illuminating the room. 

 

Finally, Athena spoke. “That went well,” the AI said reassuringly. “All things considered.”

 

“It could have been worse,” Winston allowed. He pushed up his glasses. “I wish Jack had been on board, though.” 

 

“He’ll come around,” said Athena. “No one wishes for the resurgence of Overwatch more than Morrison does.” 

 

“I hope so.” Winston rubbed the knuckles of one hand with the other, staring at the logo before him. “...Athena?”

 

“Yes?”

 

Winston’s face broke into a grin. “I’m naming my duck Peanut.”


End file.
